4.18.2014

Let Me Mingle Tears with Thee and other stories


Be not far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is none to help.
Many bulls encompass me,
strong bulls of Bashan surround me;
they open wide their mouths at me,
like a ravening and roaring lion.
I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint;
my heart is like wax,
it is melted within my breast;
my strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue cleaves to my jaws;
thou dost lay me in the dust of death.


* * *

There's always something, Holy Week—something to distract me from Triduum. This year, it's the darkness resulting after weeks of not sleeping enough and getting Maytagged* by anxiety.

Fine, I say. Good Friday is as good a day as any to face your own demons. I'll wear black and put my skull-and-crossbones earrings in and Goth out a little. It's appropriate.

Tomorrow I can fight the dementors with chocolate, but for today, black coffee and a little proactive anger might just be good enough. There's beauty to be found in darkness.

It's hard to photograph, but it's there.
* "Getting Maytagged": river guide slang for getting caught in a recirculating hydraulic, e.g., the looping wave that forms when water goes over a submerged rock. The experience is supposedly comparable to taking a spin in a frontloading washing machine, and can be almost as impossible to escape. Fun stuff.

* * *

Pollyanna also helps.

I am glad of many things, and tulips are not the least of these.


I'm so glad to have tomato plants to care for again.

Eggplant and peppers, too!

* * *



In this your bitter passion
Good Shepherd, think of me
with your most sweet compassion
unworthy though I be
Beneath your cross abiding
forever would I rest
in your dear love confiding
and with your presence blest.

Have a blessed Good Friday, and Happy Easter!

* * *


Eia, Mater, fons amoris
me sentire vim doloris
fac, ut tecum lugeam. ...

Tui Nati vulnerati,
tam dignati pro me pati,
poenas mecum divide.

Fac me tecum pie flere,
crucifixo condolere,
donec ego vixero.

(source)


4 comments:

  1. Gothed-out hugs if you want them, ((((((Jenna))))))

    My favorite Easter sermon is actually a Saturday sermon, by my favorite Baptist, Fred Clark. Maybe you'd like it? It's over here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2014/04/18/holy-saturday-3/

    I hope you get some sleep and your Maytag whirlpool doesn't suck you down too far and your tulips bloom bright in the darkness and the darkness doesn't even know what the heck is happening anymore <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll take Gothed-out hugs! And I sympathized with that sermon SO MUCH. Thank you for the sweet wishes!! Warms me up inside. The tulips are still blooming bright, and I would be well served to try and go to bed early tonight. :)

      Delete
  2. I love gothing up the Triduum!!! Blessed Easter! I hope all manner of Joy surrounded you on Sunday! Your tulips are beautiful, and so perfectly timed for Easter..

    anxiety is never fun, particularly on days you can't drown it in chocolate!

    Prayers and love!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Easter managed to be joyful. It felt like a miracle. Thank you. :)

      Gothing up the Triduum turns out to be kind of fun. And I am grateful that chocolate is now an option. Prayers and love to you, too!

      Delete

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