- Katherine Coble talks about modesty and too much shame. Teaching your girls to be sensible about how they dress is one thing; teaching them that their bodies are inherently to blame for male lust is another.
- Rage Against the Minivan responds, thoughtfully and wisely, to the recent viral modesty post.
- Fellow homeschooling veteran Naomi Boyer details her lifelong struggle with fashion.
|Me in the glory days of dreadful.|
Photo cropped oddly to
protect the innocent.
[<= This was the most embarrassing photo I could come up with on short notice. But there was a worse one in a national homeschooling magazine once. :P]
I learned how not to relate to men instead of how to. I learned that my life was designed to revolve around marriage and childbearing; everything else was just stuff to kill time with till The Right One came along. As you can imagine, those two lessons weren't designed to mix well. To this day, I'm nervous and self-conscious around young men, unduly fearful of their dislike and anxious for their praise.
In brutal honesty: I got off easy. Domineering men often gravitate toward submissive, dependent girls. They're easy to control. I've seen it happen.
Homeschooling parents: you're doing good, hard work in the world, and I'm aware that you have enough battles to fight without me giving you a complex. But please, please teach your girls—especially your cautious ones—to find and pursue interests, including interests outside the home. To look for good work to do and to do it confidently. To smile and converse with and befriend boys as well as girls. To hold their heads up and look men in the eyes as equals, choose husbands who respect women, and give those husbands their respect out of choice, not out of instinct and fear. Feminism wouldn't be so popular if there weren't at least some truth to it. This is some of that truth.
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Cute fix! First, the cat picture:
Second: my family has an unbelievable number of baby bunnies all of a sudden, and I couldn't resist grabbing the camera and sharing the love.
|Middle set. I love how they sleep in a big jumble like this.|
|The littlest set. I think this grey/cinnamon coloring is the most beautiful thing.|
|Here's looking at you, kid.|
|The oldest set....|
|...playing in their grass run with an umbrella for shade.|
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Music of the week: I'm feeling light and rocky, and I like these young people's a capella arrangement of the Cups song. You know, I never did master that game. Summer staff retreat just wasn't long enough. :)
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Maia's got your hand right where she wants it! :)ReplyDelete
Ah, modesty. It seems that humans have a hard time being moderate in things. It seems you either have girls dressed in shapeless burlap bags or girls dressed like Miley Cyrus and Lady Gaga. Or undressed like them...
Ha, yeah. We're all prone to running past the bounds of reason with our favorite ideas...Delete
Poor Miley. What a thing to be noticed for. I didn't see the show, but I saw some pictures, and I'd like to strangle a few choreographers. And the guy she was singing with, except that I really don't care to be in the same room with him.
I didn't grow up as a full member of the super conservative/cloistered crowd, but some of my friends did--and they have reproved one of my sisters for initiating chit-chat with the male guests at a party instead of sticking to the girls unless approached by a guy (those guys don't approach, though, lest anyone think they're offering a proposal of courtship).ReplyDelete
On the other hand, I can understand that human nature is reactionary. Seeing the world, it's no wonder that some Christians run screaming toward denim jumpers and Scripture workbooks. It's so hard to stay balanced, isn't it? Perhaps what we need is more bunnies. Bunnies for everyone. Pet them, feed them, photograph them, and be too distracted to notice Miley Cyrus.
they have reproved one of my sisters for initiating chit-chat with the male guests at a party instead of sticking to the girls unless approached by a guy (those guys don't approach, though, lest anyone think they're offering a proposal of courtship)Delete
Sheesh. Yes--and that sort of restrictiveness is particularly asinine. Teaching a girl that marriage is her goal BUT that modesty is paramount and flirtation is sinful is setting her up for failure. And real misery.
Quivering Daughters is a good resource for girls trying to find their way out of that spiritual abuse. I didn't think to link it in my post....
I totally agree with your second paragraph. :)
I have infinite X infinite thoughts on the modesty thing, but I'm on limited internet access, so. . .
oh, and I second the recommendation for Quivering Daughters.