|Rosemary and red-twig dogwood,|
arranged by my thoughtful, bush-pruning husband.
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Feeling... balanced, en pointe, in tense and thrilling preparation for a move I'm not sure of because I've never made it. But if I do spring, I'm hopeful—even confident—that I can land it.
I'm seriously considering going to college.
Twice in the past I've considered school, and twice I've held back out of uncertainty, out of lack of vision, and, sorry as I am to admit it, out of shyness and fear. This time, I'm not willing to base a decision on fear—and this time, I know what I want, and how, and why. I'm researching the possibilities, and have found at least one online degree program through a state school that I'm thoroughly excited about.
If I don't do this, it will only be because my choice right now is between a focus on learning and a focus on doing. I could go on throwing my current freedom into writing novels and volunteering with choir and gradually schooling myself. There's nothing wrong with that path—it's just that I've been dreaming, since I first moved to Bellingham and had to drive past the WWU campus every day on the way to work, of all the study and direction I was too shy to go for at eighteen and twenty-five.
It's far too late for this writer to get a degree in creative writing, but there are complementary fields of knowledge that interest me very much. I might just have my heart set on directed study.
It means working part time; it means having to prioritize free hours tightly to do things like garden and blog and visit family and direct choir and write future novels (I'll be getting the two I'm currently working on sorted, pronto.)
But I'm seeing an unexpected route to a long-loved vision. I'm tasting dreams and listening to an old, patient call—and I'm grateful for the encouragement my family's given as I've finally spoken of these thoughts—and I'm loving the idea of great books and growing understanding—and I'm hoping I make the right decision, because this is the sort of thing that shifts the direction of whole years, even of life.
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Rather than music today, here's a video about art. It's beautiful.
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I promise that even if I go back to school, I will make an effort to post cat pictures.
Also, because this popped up in my Facebook feed and some of you will enjoy it: Cats Taking Selfies.
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